Trinity Devotions - Friendship

A friend is one to whom one may pour out the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”

― George Eliot

I love this quote from George Eliot.  It gave me comfort when my friend of 50 years turned against me.  I had been talking to her every Tuesday night for 5 years in an effort to console her over losing her first-born son at the age of 18.  Her grief was enormous and unending.

So I was surprised and hurt when I got a letter listing offenses from years past, many of which I couldn’t remember or fathom as an offense.  I said I was sorry and asked for her forgiveness.  And two years later, I got another email notice, similar to the first letter.  She even told me to stop talking to her about God. 

I cried for a week and then couldn’t imagine ever opening my heart to her again.  It was just too painful to be so powerfully rejected after so many years of friendship.

Through prayer and meditation, I realized that her emotions were still very raw and she couldn’t handle my life’s problems which I shared with her as friends do.  And let’s face it, I wasn’t totally innocent.  I did things that irritated her as friends do.  It’s part of the package of being human.

Months later, she started making overtures toward me, asking me how I was in emails, and sending loving cards, writing about her family; as if nothing had happened. 

I could have blown her off” and it was tempting, believe me.  I couldn’t imagine going through that pain again.  But that is not what God calls us to do.  We are to never give up on the people we love, just as God never gave up on us.

So when I share my faith with her now, I always ask her if it’s OK first.  She hasn’t denied a conversation yet.  Slowly, we’re coming back together and my heart is opening up once again.   And with a breath of kindness which can only come from God, I’m blowing the rest away.

Shared by Lynn Byrnes