HOME
Six
years ago this month I bought my first house after 30+ years of parsonages and
apartments. I use the word
"house" and not "home", because every place I lived in
became my home, whether I owned it or not. I had been thinking about "home" for several years
before that. What is home? What
does it mean to be "at home?"
Is home a specific place or a state of mind?
I
found some help with these questions from a couple of people whose works I
admire. In a beautiful chapter in his book, Learning
to Fall, The Blessings of An Imperfect Life, Philip Simmons writes about
his house, and others in his New Hampshire town, most of which are never really
finished. He sees these unfinished
houses as a symbol of our unfinished lives - with always something more to be
done, projects underway, plans for future improvements - all delayed by lack of
money or time or motivation or health or something else. We get used to this state of incompleteness,
or unsettledness, and for Simmons that's not a bad thing. "Only so far as we are unsettled
is there any hope for us. Let us remain unsettled, therefore, in order that we
may truly live." (44). The present moment is all that we have - that is
the unfinished house in which we live.
According to Servite Sister Joyce Rupp,
our pilgrim hearts are always on a journey, as we make our way home to
God. In this life we are all
"on loan" to each other, and we cherish this life, and all that comes
with it - but it is not our final destination. There is a restlessness in our spirits that longs for the
home of God's heart. Knowing that we are
"on loan" to each other, we take this journey together - and
as with any journey, we enjoy the scenery, and the company, even as we
anticipate the destination.
I
am glad I bought my house, with its abundance of joys and challenges. It makes
me feel more settled in my work as an interim pastor. And yes, I have a list of
projects that will probably never get done. But whether I live here for one
more year, or 20 more, I know that I'm still a pilgrim, and part of me will
always be unsettled. The words of
St. Augustine come to mind here: "You
have formed us for yourself, O God, and our hearts are restless until they rest
in you."
May
your Lenten journey be truly blessed!
Shared by Pastor Jerrie
Shepard Matney, Baptist interim ministry
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